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With the rainy season upon us, its not always easy to bus it to the farmer’s market these days. With the sale of our car impending, and no bike trailer to carry groceries, getting produce and grocery items will be a bit difficult, to say the least. But I’m really apprehensive about the trailer, for irrational fears of having the most precious thing to my heart trailing around behind my bike on the side of a busy road. Anyway, I typically bring $40 to the Portland Farmer’s Market each week. I look for the best deals (which aren’t always organic but at least local) and then I spend a little at the grocery store for items not produce related. The market runs every Saturday from May - December.

All of these complications lead me to look into the home delivery service, as I often see various vans outside the doors of houses in our neighborhood, dropping off groceries and bins of food.

Several full-fledged grocery stores, such as New Seasons Market, offer this service for a fee, and many local farms offer “drop off” sites for a seasonal membership (Sauvie Island Organics, for example, rounds off to about $25 a week, from my math, which is pretty good, but you have to pay $805 for the 8 months of service, and you still have to go to the drop off sites on the right days.)

What I want is something without a fee, that tells me what I’m getting each week, and that provides more than just produce. Oh yes, and if you could just leave it on the door, thanks. Is that too much to ask?

Apparently not! Organics to You offers home delivery of fresh organic produce from several farm locations, and all you have to do is schedule for the size bin you want (one person, small family, large family, etc) including extras such as “Juicer Bin”, “Kids Bin” etc. To top it off, they offer an ever expanding selection of high demand grocery items, such as bread, milk, butter, yogurt, cheese, eggs, coffee, - even Chai! (Meats are coming soon!) You see the price (and, by the way, the brand) for what you’re checking off and it all adds up to one sum which you can either pay in advance with your credit card or leave cash under your door mat! The prices, compared to non-discounted items at, say, Wild Oats (prices I am most familiar with) are by and large comparable, if not cheaper, (although for the time being, I do have Hubby’s 20% discount) PLUS you are not paying for gas OR the time/chore of getting your groceries each week.

Pro’s: esp without a Hubby discount: no travel and very little time invested (takes two minutes to fill your order). Price is reasonable, and best of all, it makes it very easy to stay within your grocery budget, as most of us would do if we actually saw the total adding up AS WE WERE SHOPPING!

Con’s: If you are not concerned about organics AND you are not a big produce eater, then obviously its cheaper to go to your local grocery chain.

Below was this week’s bin for a “small family”, which costs $30. I think its MORE than enough for us and I might go down to the one person bin every other week, and with the savings buy some grocery items such as my milk, bread and eggs.

SMALL BIN

Hello, For the week of October 22nd. ENJOY!

1 Pomegranate
4 Gala Apples - *LOCAL, farm direct*
3 Bartlett Pears - *LOCAL, farm direct*
2-3 StarKrimson Pears - *LOCAL, farm direct
3-4 Bananas
1 bunch French breakfast Radish - *LOCAL*
1-2 Onions - *LOCAL, farm direct*
2lb. Red Potatoes - *LOCAL, farm direct*
6oz. Crimini Mushrooms - *LOCAL, farm direct*
1/2lb. Green Beans - *LOCAL, farm direct*
1 Lettuce - Some *LOCAL*-’last of the local lettuce’
1 bunch Chard/Kale - *LOCAL, farm direct*
1 bunch Broccoli - *Local*
1-2 winter Squash-(Gold Nugget) - *LOCAL, farm direct*

*LOCAL* = locally from supplier
*LOCAL, farm direct* = Locally direct from farmer

I’d like to add that even the website for this organization is impressive to me- with recipes, community pages, so on. I will get my first delivery next week, and I’ll let you all know how it measures up!

I found this post/article at EcoMetro very interesting (my home community leader has several fantastic articles there for going green on a budget too!). For one thing, I never once considered the difference between driving a car and producing 1 lb of beef (used every time I make chili or spaghetti sauce or any number of things.)

I spent several years as a pre-teen as an Ovo-Lacto Vegetarian, but I really didn’t know enough about nutrition to maintain a steady supply of healthy protein and other vitamins. Since then I’ve been a fairly average meat eater, most women will say they eat chicken or turkey most, and every once in a while pork or beef. Honestly, I do whatever is on sale this week, lol, including (and I’ve heard its one of the best meats you can eat) ground Buffalo. We often eat veggie burgers as snacks and buy meat alternatives for ground beef recipes a lot too. (And quickly, for the sake of price comparison, I cannot stand when people say produce is too expensive. 1.99/lb for some organic produce is FAR less expensive than 4.99/lb for some variety of meat. Most often a pound of produce is at least half the price of the meat I’ve bought- and I don’t buy the value pack of drumsticks for .89/lb from god-knows-where-farm). Particularly from the farmer’s market (or how about the the price difference when you join a local farm’s co-op and get shares each week? I wonder…)

ANYHOO, I’ve wondered about going vegan a lot, and there are 2 main things stopping me. Cheese and yogurt! I know, I know, but its true. I eat yogurt for breakfast, as does Lil’E and Hubby. And good cheeses are one of my vices. I can’t picture never having Caprese Salad again. Eggs too- I can’t quite see why I should give that up, esp if we have our own chickens producing eggs, so we know they are eating organic and are laying eggs without hormones. (Don’t have them yet but plan to get chicks in the spring).

What do ya’ll think about this? (Read linked article before responding )

*edit* based on the comment my mom made, I should revise my question- I meant to ask what you guys thought about the idea that being a vegan is a “green” thing or about the environmental impact of the meat industry. I, personally, am eating my yogurt for breakfast

Maybe this post is coming from left field, but at this point I’m thinking you guys will take anything so long as it isn’t more poetry. (What’s wrong with you, you uncultured illiterates?!)

Ten things that I find comforting (order is inconsequential):

1. Snacks/food… I seem to have an endless love for popcorn (in a pot, I can never go back to the bag, baby) with lots of olive oil and nutritional yeast all over it; edamame (soybeans in the pod, steamed and served up with some sea salt), avocado and tomato salad (a little cajun seasoning on it), Beecher’s flagship cheese, peanut butter balls… (my husband would think it important to note here that my WAY of eating drives him up the wall and down the block. Whether my lips are smacking, he can hear the crunching, or I’m licking up yeast at the bottom of the bowl, apparently I eat like a stark raving animal. I more or less dismiss his complaints because I was raised with only a dad and brother, both of whom are the social counter of a metro-sexual man. They have hair on their chests, and its a wonder I even know how to paint my toenails, okay?)

2. Movies- as I’ve already shared, I just love movies, talking about them, watching them, whatever. I hate, however, watching movies with some one who does not share my love for movies, who sits there with that -”I don’t get it… they just had no dialog for all of 3 minutes therefore this can’t possibly be a ‘good’ movie”- blank stare. But this is about things that comfort me, not things that irk me, I so digress.

3. Reading. Currently digging through Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs, which is quite possibly the funniest book I’ve ever read. Excerpt below:

“I realize there is a whole generation of adults born in the seventies who currently play Sega and Nintendo as much as they banged on their Atari 5200 and their George Plimpton- endorsed Intellivision in 1982. I am not one of them. I agree with Media Virus author Douglas Rushkoff’s theory that home video game consoles are the reason kids raised in the 1980s so naturally embraced the virtual mentality- we never thought it seemed strange to be able to manipulate what we saw on a video screen - but I’ll never accept pixels killing other pixels as an art form (or a sport, or even a pastime). A homeless man once told me that dancing to rap music is the cultural equivalent to masturbating, and I’d sort of feel the same way about playing John Madden Football immediately after filing my income tax: It’s fun, but- somehow- vaguely pathetic.”

4. Beverages… teas, espresso drinks, wine. I used to drink only water because I didn’t want to waste my caloric intake on a beverage that wouldn’t fill me up. Stop and think about that truth, roll it around in your head. Caloric intake… that was a logical and substantial reason to avoid flavored beverages completely. If you do not see something oddly self-oppressive about that line of thinking, go have yourself a beer. Have a few beers, what do I care. Who am I the police? (ah, that “Bronx Beat” is a pretty funny SNL skit)

5.  Walking. I love to walk and wish there was more time for it. When you take the time to walk somewhere (or just “take a walk, which I’m less likely to do because of the lack of an end result), you smell things in the air and look around to locate the herbs or tree nearby… you see interesting aspects of people’s backyards or window panes… you have time for acorns to hit you on the head; drizzle to dampen your hair down. This may not seem like an appealing description, all things considered… but when are all things ever really considered?

6. Music. God is currently in the process of redeeming my relationship with music. This is a statement some one came up with in a theology class assignment tonight. There was a period of time in my life when music I could listen to was limited to only that which was not “secular” in origin or nature. I would have burned my classical CD’s had I been told they too were part of Satan’s plan to take down humanity. A whole half decade of my life was sucked dry of pop culture, for better or for worse. With it were many potential relationships, as any one who listened to secular music could not be a regular companion of mine lest they tempt me with their luring beat. I’m finally rediscovering genre’s and artists I used to resonate with, as well as new voices and tempos that communicate something to me, and I’m intently focused on music that does not traditionally “belong” in church because I’m fairly certain that there is no such thing as “secular” (without God, completely worldly), or if there is, there are much fewer things that truly fit in that category than most people think. Because God has a habit/characteristic of imparting Himself in the most unlikely places via these annoying little creative creatures called human beings.

7.  Poetry. I realize this closely resembles reading, but I place it in a category all its own because I also like to write poetry, and because I see poetry in things that aren’t necessary known as poetry. In an argument with Hubby, I pointed out once that the difference between us is that “my world is written in poetry, where as yours is written like a manual.” So, yeah, let that marinate a while, ya big meany, while I pat myself on the back for coming up with something so inherently witty.

8. Painting- ah yes, the one thing that can so zone me out that you’ll wonder where I have been for the last 8 hours. Playing Tetris had this effect on my one time, but more consistently, its painting.

9. Practicing conversations. You know the kind I’m talking about. Those times of intense communication where Person A and B are played by leading lady, moi? Usually in whispers in the bathroom, where the two characters will surface and it will take my 2 year old son’s bewildered look to make me realize I was playing out this conversation out loud. However, for some reason these little times of practice are fairly useful in gathering my thoughts, preparing me for the time when I might have some one talking back.

10. Large natural phenomena. This is a little cliche, but just because something is cliche doesn’t mean it can’t be true too. Whether I’m in a great big field, standing on the shore of a large body of water, or looking up at a massive mountain, the sheer size swallows up whatever I deemed substantial about my life thus far and spits them back out into pea-sized Vivian staring out in awe.

P.S. It was no accident that I failed to include things like prayer here- I left that sort of thing off the list because I think it goes without saying and I would have little to add about the subject anyway.

That’s what life feels like for me lately. It seems I should be a little further along sometimes, having gotten my “edumacation”, being married for nearly 5 years, a mommy for 2+pregnancy, working, bla bla bla- those should surely qualify me for a self-titled “intermediate”, right? Instead I feel in so many ways as though life has just begun. As though my lungs are crushing with the weight of my first breath of oxygen: I know nothing.

Yep, the lovely twenties, full blown in effect.

One of my many humble philosophies on life is sort of a “mind over matter” one- with regards to vices, depression, stress, so forth. Though I must have a zillion crutches that I don’t even think about or consider them as such, the ones I recognize I typically do away with rather quickly. Example- if I notice I’m using wine to “relax” too often, I’ll begin to formulate a different way to relax that is healthier, no side effects, etc etc. Aromatherapy, massage, yoga, whatever. I even considered recently the homeopathic medicinal value of herbs such as St. John’s Wort or Kava, though in the end even those had side effects I’d rather not deal with, not to mention that you cannot be on them while pregnant or nursing and that chapter of my life isn’t exactly over yet, so might as well not even get started on the treatment.

Side note: I recently read an article in a parenting e-zine where the writer and mother of the story confessed that she turned her weekend vice of smoking a little weed while her son is not around into a “one hitter” commonality whenever she needed to “get through the day” with her son. I wanted to scream at such stupidity, especially as nearly every single comment (there were over 80) to the on-line article went back and forth between arguing about the legality of pot or the irresponsibility of the mom while she is the care-giver for a young child, etc etc. While all those arguments are interesting, I felt like they really missed the point. Why not get to the deeper issue (IMHO) and learn to deal with your stress and anxiety as a mother without “mother’s little helpers” at all? Perhaps such levels of annoyance indicate a major change needs to happen, as in, more sleep, better diet, a little exercising, prayer (yikes, touchy subject!) or even counseling. I also feel, (though this opinion might get me stoned), that too many (esp mothers) turn quickly to the latest prescription drug for helping them cope BEFORE giving the aforementioned suggestions a hearty attempt. (Okay, that’s all I’ll say now about my extreme skepticism of allopathic medicine! Another day, another post)

As for me, I “confess” that I can fall into mild feelings of lethargy, depression, anxiety or what have you, certain circumstances trigger it more than others of course. I can tell when I want to “hide” that the cloud is over me. Luckily, it rarely effects my ability to fulfill responsibilities, although it does make doing them more difficult. Anyhow, this all to say that I am sort of in one of these periods lately and have the foreboding feeling that it hasn’t even completely run its course yet (it’s only the beginning!)- with upcoming cold, sunless, rainy days of Portland’s winter ahead, the holidays without friends and family around, hubby working double shifts nearly every day, and my only “hey, let’s go chill” friend starting a full-time job and having her mom come live with her, all of this seems to be indicators to me lately that I’ve got to catch this mood at the beginning and prepare for the “dark night of the soul” that could be quite lonely if I don’t proceed carefully.

This post has taken a slight detour from its original “I might finally know that I don’t know anything” but trust me, its all related!

So I’m open to anything, bar substance abuse, traditional Western medicine, lol, and perhaps some others things I haven’t thought of, to help me trudge along this phase with a deeply joyful heart. I have absolute assurance that this won’t happen without a much greater awareness of the daily conversation God is having with me, and perhaps I could even try responding more often in prayer instead of avoidance. From there, I’ve got to start reading some good books, doing my yoga again, and making sure my oil burner is always going with lavender, chamomile, and clary sage. Another tip: avoid too much refined sugars, alcohol and caffeine (yes, even here at “mama NEED java” we can all agree on the “too much of a good thing” factor )

If any one else can relate to what I’ve just shared, here’s a toast to your journey onward. To the other’s, I apologize for wasting your time on a very Vivian-centered subject (esp since my last post was one too!) and promise to upload a great movie tomorrow of Ethan singing songs.

For those who’ve never been, the Portland Farmer’s Market is just a site to see (and taste!). I won’t go into stats and details, just to say that I still feel like a tourist when I go because its just too cool. I have to remember that so many places don’t have access to such a large amount of affordable prices on unique organic produce (not to mention jams, cheeses, meats, activities, etc etc etc) and truly count my blessings. I LOVE my Saturday mornings spent examining the best prices and then an afternoon at home sampling my goodies!

But so far I haven’t been able to get any shots of this phenomena that do it justice. I still don’t think these do, but they come closer. Some of you know how intrigued I am by tomatoes, having done some research into them for a newsletter when I freelanced. It was exactly this time last year that I tried my first heirloom tomato, traveling 45 minutes to the nearest Wild Oats and buying a couple for 7.99 a lb!

Today, the Farmer’s market celebrated the tomato harvest with several booths boasting an incredible variety of heirlooms, plus a free tasting in the center (you know, where all that yummy lunch, cooking classes and music happens!) The best part, one stand was selling for just 2 bucks a lb! I’ve been eating tomatoes all evening, and I’ve got one word, quoted from Lil’ E- YUMMY!

Enjoy the pics and video (train refers to the MAX light rail into downtown as often as possible- free from Lloyd Center Mall and you don’t have to hassle with parking, what a deal! Lil’ E loves it!)

I’ve had some pervasive thoughts lately, regarding time and waste, primarily.

And you are forewarned: this is a rant.

As I shared previously, I’ve been reading into some Waldorf-ish child development stuff lately, and I’m beginning to wonder if some how or another I am reclaiming my own childhood, values, virtues, principles, creativity, thought-life, and so on. Whether its regarding “seasons” I rarely experienced growing up in south Florida, songs and rhymes with motions I had long forgotten,  or childhood experiences I was enriched and blessed by my father’s insistence on playing outdoors with the good ol’ earth and sun and tree house- how EASY it is to become a regular American girl who puts a gazillion Baby Einstien DVD’s on her baby registry and sets out to pace her own family in the ideals of this consumer country with little thought to the down right twisted circle of it all.

I don’t remember a lot of cartoons from my early childhood. I half way remember enjoying Pee Wee’s Playhouse on Saturday mornings through a fuzzy screen of a small, rabbit eared TV in our one bedroom apartment on the Peace River. But I do remember the activities, the games my brother and I created and played with neighboring children in backyard’s and at the marina’s edge. I remember all kinds of “natural” things that thrilled me, down to singing the “Our Father” with my dad when I went to sleep. I read books and colored a hundred times more than I watched tv or movies, that’s for sure. My brother and I made a game out of spelling long words (”perpendicular” was my favorite!) or counting to one hundred when I was just starting grade school. By the time I was in kindergarten, I distinctly recall my frustration that the majority of the other children could not read a simple book or color in the lines or cut out a pattern.

And I don’t know why this was; I don’t know how much tv they watched or what type of parents they had or if we were just plan ol different and that’s that.  I’m merely reflecting on my own experiences as I now filter THROUGH them and try to imagine what memories my son will have in his twenties. I can only say that I can’t imagine who I would be today if I had grown up as so many kids are right now - with oodles of television and computer games and dvd’s in the back of the minivan (what ever happened to car games? I Spy and so on?! I was entertained during 5-15 hour drives with these games!) How sad that they memorize names like Dora and Diego and Elmo and Blues Clues before they even get down the names of their grandparent’s!

I also think of all the senseless hours I’ve wasted in the last decade on tv shows. I’m not talking about an awesome film or favorite show here and there- I mean the AM news, the daytime talks, down to the 11 pm news and Late Night shows, I mean I’ve seen them all- and when I looked around, every one I knew my age was doing the same thing, so I don’t think I’m alone in this! And we wonder all the time where all the hours go in the day and why our nation’s children are overweight on the whole. Maybe because so many of them are NOT out riding bikes and climbing trees and getting sweaty and grimy until dinner time every day? Most at best finish their homework and then play video games. Some have competitive sports or teams they are on, but few teens have an active, healthy LIFESTYLE. My own darling Hubby (very big TV fan, btw) has to “zone out” for most of his hours before or after a work shift with the boob tube- the mere thought of taking a walk four hours before he must clock in is too much (not cracking on him here, just pointing out a difference, okay?) I remember where we lived in Florida, our house was less than a mile from several chain restaurants, a grocery store, even a “Family Fun” place with put put golfing and so on. Yet if we needed a few things from the store or anything, we drove. We got into our automobiles and drove literally around the corner in perfect weather. This seems so silly to me now, and not a wonder I struggled with a flabby butt for the last 5 years! Now I’ve got to re-learn what it means to be active- not a 30 minutes a day exercise regime or gym membership, not a weekend outing here and there- but riding my bike and walking as a MODE OF TRANSPORTATION, weeding and pruning the garden, staying busy with things like this for several hours of every day, allowing the isty bitsy spider to make a web from the tree to the hood of my car because I so rarely use it! (It’s on Craigslist, if any one is interested!)

I was really inspired by a No Impact Man post recently, in which he muses over the fact that we live in a culture that WATCHES everything happening but rarely DOES anything. Why learn an instrument or allow yourself to sing in front of others, let alone connect with others in an intimate way on a regular basis, if you can simply watch such connections in a movie and listen to much better music on the stereo?

And don’t even get me started on 50, 60- 80 hour work weeks that deteriorate our health, families, and quality of life. “More-more-more!”: I’m guilty of it, very guilty of it, trust me. But I am getting MORE MORE MORE bothered by the time this way of living robs from me and the things I could be DOING and learning and how rich my life would be if I got a few priorities straightened out (i.e. putting money/things at the bottom!)

Well, there is a perfectly good afternoon out there right now, so I’m gonna scat now. Scat… isn’t that the word for animal droppings. Ew.

I love Diane’s post over at The Mommy Spot regarding the above title, so please go check it out!

Today at the kickball tournament we had some hot dogs from a little table top grill, and it reminded me that if we ever get two incomes rolling in again, a grill is a must. With no A/C, its really stinkin hot to start up the oven in the heat of summer. And even when it cools down, I’d love to make a habit of using a grill to cook (despite the winter rains even?) Anyway, on that note, I like this article from National Geographic’s Green Guide; Green Grilling.

Today I had the BEST time picking fresh organic vegetables out of the ground- like digging for gold! The kids LOVED it and I am so glad this city has a local organic farmer! Cheap, fun, and SOOOO good for you!!! See for yourself:

Well at last today I had a chance to run over to Lakeland’s “Go Natural Organics” where I found the coolest farmer/owner with his masters in nutrition watering a potted farm with living water from a pond behind the farm. He took the time to explain the membership and procedure, gave us samples and a tour of what’s growing, and even gave me a free huge head of green leaf lettuce! This place is SO cool, with even an enclosed area with a butterfly garden for kids to play while the parents pick. SA-WEET!

Also, our good friend invited us along for this trip as a dual-birthday trip for her and my Hubby. We’ve made reservations to spend Easter in the “pool house” hut!

I wish I could go more into this right now, but just thought I would share the basic happenings while I’ve got a half a sec!