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Surgeon Generals Warning: A ramble follows.

Sometimes things happen in life and we think, gee, (or F$?!), if only I could find the one to blame, maybe the pain of this thing would ease up. (For example, 9-11 served up a face we wanted to see on a platter pretty quickly.) It’s way too easy to figure out who’s fault it is, from an individual or organization or politics - anyone see John Edwards’ affair make headlines this week?- or books or subcultures or mommy and daddy or whatever. We can look out over a situation and find a sense of self-importance because we know who the “bad guy” is (and if we keep looking for them throughout our whole lives, pretty quickly you’ll find yourself completely alone- and maybe realize you too are the “bad” guy!) It will keep us out of friendships, marriages, communities, extended families, and churches - because sooner or later everyone is a tremendous letdown and we are super proud that we keenly knew all along about all those fake or sinful or untrustworthy “others”.

I don’t know, but sometimes I get really sick of doing that, and of hearing it from others I know, and I just want to say like, pardon my french but, SHIT! We’re all just as messy as the drunk on the bus, okay? If I want to live this short earthly life with the smallest possible circle of safe people, it will be one very lonely and ignorant existence. (And something tells me Jesus won’t be too pleased when I say, “But,… but!” at the pearly gates.)

I love Anne Lamott and her take on grace. “Sometimes I think that Jesus watches my neurotic struggles, and shakes his head and grips his forehead and starts tossing back mojitos.” After a food binge that left her feeling completely lost in her fear and addiction, she writes, “I burped my terrible Cyclops burps, which brought such relief that I finally remember who I was: one of the sometimes miserable all-of-us. I was a soul, not a faulty digestive system. Not a bad neck; not my ruckles and wrinkles and pouches. A woman with a few small, unresolved issues.”

We recently ordered The Shack for hubby and I to read together, but not after reading the author “Willie”’s story. I love that part:

These facts don’t tell you about the pain of trying to adjust to different cultures, of life losses that were almost too staggering to bear, of walking down railroad tracks at night in the middle of winter screaming into the windstorm, of living with an underlying volume of shame so deep and loud that it constantly threatened any sense of sanity, of dreams not only destroyed but obliterated by personal failure, of hope so tenuous that only the trigger seemed to offer a solution. These few facts also do not speak to the potency of love and forgiveness, the arduous road of reconciliation, the surprises of grace and community, of transformational healing and the unexpected emergence of joy. Facts alone might help you understand where a person has been, but often hide who they actually are.

and then he ends… “I love the wastefulness of my Papa’s grace and presence.”

I was reminded today of the idea that we are all connected, like the little pieces of faces that merge in the film I Heart Huckabees. That when we look out at nature, we can see the ecology of life leaning on each other to keep the system going - it’s progress made most efficient by the working together of its organisms. Then of course there is the “one body” imagery from the New Testament, in that one part of the body cannot say, cut off that arm, we don’t really need it. Cut off that drunk, that rager, that user, that republican, that adulterer, that prick in his fancy car… we just don’t need the dead weight. Cut it off and move on, right? After all, we certainly have never been to blame for other people’s suffering, right? True? Absolute? Verdad?

Just listen to this same self-protective thought from a small dinosaur, Ducky, from “The Land Before Time VII”: “Hello? Anyone there?” (no response). “That’s okay. When it comes to dark and scary places, I prefer they be empty!” (It may not seem like a related note, but trust me, in this brain, its all pretty much related. Whether you follow or not is an entirely different story. And that’s okay.)

Dark and scary places, in my experience, come from blaming and isolating, not from grace and direct, honest relationships.

Parting words from Caedmon’s Call:

I should have patented it.

I’m just wondering why no one thought to call me to come into the studio for this ad? You know, I’ve got mad cross-cultural appeal too!

Check out the latest over at VivianWrites!

Tonight, for perhaps no other reason than the fact that there is such a scarcity of anything new on TV, (particularly on a Saturday night… particular with an antenna!), I, Vivian, watched the New Hampshire Republican and Democratic debates. I might add that my sheer surprise in some of the outcomes of the Iowa caucus this week is what actually prompted me to stay on the debates once I flipped there.

In the past, I’ve tended to keep my head out of politics to deal with the situations at hand… bills, medical needs, college, my baby, our jobs…

Tonight, for perhaps the first time, I realized that it is precisely these issues, the one’s I struggle with daily, that were talked about in the debates, and that actually go to effect my life all the way from the White House. (Correction… the Republicans, who happen to be, I might add, my current party, debated primarily on foreign policy and keeping America the “strongest nation in the world.” *make sticking finger down my throat gesture*)

I was impressed with the level of discussion between the democratic candidates, however. A few times, I thought, my gosh… these are MY issues. I am middle-class, I am uninsured, I can’t afford a home in this market, MY husband is unemployed due to the economy,  I get very little tax relief… - WHY DID THIS TAKE SO LONG TO SINK IN???

It was also clear, fortunately, that at least 3 out of the 4 candidates (again, just referring to the Dems here) seemed to have grasped what is the “voice” of my issues, that some how or another they had an up-close experience with some one just like me effected by the status of our nation.

I felt very much better educated on what sets each candidate apart on these issues, as well. Hilary certianly “knows her stuff” and has a proven track record, but I’m with a great many others in wondering if that means she’s really the best person for the job of “change”, maybe even because of it (her experience). Obama didn’t impress me as much as I thought he would, though I really REALLY liked his idea of NOT mandating adults to buy their own health insurance (BUT making it affordable so we CAN)- HOWEVER, we would be mandated to buy it for our children, for the sheer fact that they do not have a choice. For me, this was one of the most interesting ideas of the evening. I was more impressed by Edwards than I expected myself to be, perhaps particularly on his campaign of going to battle for the middle-income families. Facebook, one of the sponsors for the debates, was asked to poll its participants the following question: “What was the biggest surprise”. An overwhelming majority voted for “Romney saying that the drug companies are NOT THE BAD GUY” and BOY do I agree with the Facebooker’s. When he said that, I was like, woah, what? I mean, sure, okay, in an ideal world we can try to believe that for the most part their bottom line is “making us well”… funny, because from what I’ve gleaned it is typically the practice of drug companies to manufacture chemicals that treat symptoms… leaving out the “make us well” part because we are left with weaker immune systems and further medical ailments long-term. In the meantime a marginal percent of us can even afford the drugs to presumably make us well, while the drug companies make awesome amounts of money keeping us popping pills. Interesting to take a look at traditional Eastern medicine and compare who is actually getting “well”.

But, of course, I digress to the issue of environment and sustainability. What little (in my opinion) was mentioned about this in both debates, particularly the Reps, really invoked my curiosity, for obvious reasons. Hubby and I were intrigued and starting looking on-line to find some more resources on where each candidate stands on the “green” issues in particular.

He landed on this site, which I love for its simplicity in outlining the green profiles of candidates from both parties. (Seems a WONDERFUL site for all things green, at that.) So as you bounce this all around in your head as I and so many American’s have been doing as we approach November, I do hope that the green issues will effect voting. I really got a wake up call tonight, and I hope I won’t be the only one in the next 10 months.