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1. Wednesday night, (which means LOST, duh,) was purty cool- in a “what the heck?” sorta way. I was rebuked for talking too much by the other attendees of our little Lostie get-together… something I really must work on. But, hey, it made for a dramatic and memorable night, for better or worse. Sorry guys! Only human.

2. Anna Nicole’s death was quite the ironic surprise to see on the news… and then quite the annoying “beat a dead horse” after about a day. Take the damn DNA, bury the corpe, figure out who the daddy is (if you can), and make him pay child support. (I don’t care who the heck gets the dang money so long as the baby is taken care of!) Then pray that the baby grows up with the closest things to loving parents possible. What NOT to do: keep putting this on the news when there are truly more important things going on in the world, after all.

3. Freezing temperatures outside another thing that we could say ENOUGH! to. I love the cold and don’t wish for that 9 month summer any time soon, but this FL girl is not used to it for this long. Lil’ E doesn’t even own enough pants for this.

4. We went through a scare this week, thought we would be forced to move and freaked that we aren’t ready to buy but would also hate to rent due to various reasons. I didn’t even manage to get 30 hours of work in this week due to worry and research on preparing for moving— and all for not because our current landlord is now willing to sign us into a year lease so we have some security when the place sells. (We had only monthly security since our year lease was up over 2 years ago- so when they decided to sell and some buyers might be looking to move in, we realized we only truly had through whatever month we had paid on to stay!) SO-THANK GOD! (really.) We can stay on our current plan to try to get out of debt and save for a home and buy at the “right” time, … whatever that means.

5. Hubby finishing up school this semester- all signs point to graduation this April and possible MBA aspirations soon after. My own graduate school goals are up in the air– beginning to think I should go for a degree or grad certificate in Instructional Technology rather than Creative Writing. I know. I’m one big dichotomy, I swear. And I can’t even spell.

6. We participated in a community event this weekend, (not something we think outside ourselves enough to do often). And this community event wasn’t exactly something that would earn us charitable or neighborly partipation points any time soon- it was the Kiwana’s Pancake Festival. (noooo, I didn’t eat any pancakes and forgo my dietary restrictions- but I did take some pics of my “boys”)

7. Watching the news right now and, believe it or not, I’m much happier seeing news about Bill Murry being in Tampa for some golf game than more news about Anna Nicole.

8. Church was really good this morning. That Pastor Tim packs a mean sermon. Not that he’s mean. Quite the opposite.

9. Speaking of church, I’m reading more into my book, and thought this quote a good one to share:

“…unfortunately, so much of what we’re currently fighting against (’we’ meaning the church in America for starters) isn’t the real enemy, and so much of what we’re fighting for isn’t the real prize. Largely we’re fighting to get something back — a lost status as the civil religion of the West, control (political, too often) over things that are out of our control, a priviledged position as the favoured religion of the Empire, protection of the middle class from the lower and upper classes, and so on. These are futile fights. We’re also focused on fighting symptoms like abortion, promiscuity (hetero or homosexual), divorce, and profanity. We might add terrorism to the list. But these are not the disease. These are in many ways the symptoms of the very disease that we inadvertently tend to support, aid and abet, defend, protect, baptize, and fight for — a system sick with consumerism, greed, fear, violence, and misplaced faith (in the power of the Economy and the State and its weapons).”

10. I have no idea why I counted to ten in this blog except for the sheer backdoor it created so that I can now stop.

The Oscar nominations this year leave me with the feeling that I’ve been hiding out in no man’s land. I think I’ve seen one or two of the films mentioned. This is sad. I plan to take the day Sat or Sun this weekend to watch at least a few more that are out on DVD, (are any?) to fill myself in. I definitely liked In Pursuit of Happyness and Little Miss Sunshine was okay.

I’ve got a good LOST post cooking over in my draft area for tomorrow evening- stay tuned.

Also to come- Thursday hop on over for mama’s lesson on unrefined eating!

The attendance at the Polk Blogger Meet-up is probably a great sample cluster of the blogosphere; throw in some techies, a consultant, a reporter integrating blogging as a news forum, and an online operations director for the local paper- and then there’s me, representing the “mommy blog” genre rather humbly! Great conversation- what a wonderful way to collaborate, share ideas and knowledge, and just plain get to know other people who have a similar interest in blogging. As I’m sure there will be other mentions of this on their blogs, along with possible photos, I will link here when it becomes available.

If my blog starts to get a little better, you can all thank Chuck and Josh! Those guys are like a well of wisdom when it comes to that stuff, and to think, I got to sit in on it! You ever think, “Hey, I wonder what it would be like to be a fly on the wall for [such and such]”? That’s what tonight was for me. Like I got to hang out in the stall of the boys locker room and hear what they really talk about — except not exactly. Although I was the only girl!

No drinking games, and Chuck did not come in his tie-died skirt and colorful platform shoes. Good job, Chuck!

So thanks, guys! We gotta do it again sometime! Maybe even start a real meet-up?

UPDATE: Here is Chuck’s rendition. Gawd I hate candid photos- that’s me flinching oh so cooly. HERE is Billy’s “scoop”- at least there are no photos!

First of all, the evolution of MamaNeedJava: 

From the time I first got the advice from an employer at SEU to start my own blog to get writing, I waited two whole years. I gave blogging the NEVER BEFORE HEARD (sarcarsm) definition of an “online diary”. It wasn’t until I became a stay-at-home-mom that I stumbled across the infinite galaxy of the Momosphere - that’s the comprehensive term for blogs written by moms. What I found were some boring mom blogs - AND some great online content that was often witty, personable and even educating. Laced within some of the top mom blogs are lessons in child rearing, breastfeeding, nutrition, pop culture, marriage advice, tips for various careers and EVEN some good ol’ fashion hard news (however editorial). This was a whole new thing for me who, despite my young age, felt suddenly that I had been cut off from the culture all around me.

Piece by piece, one helpful techy after another, my first blog came to be. My gosh, the research involved for a website building-illiterate like myself! But when I get a goal in my head I run with it. I know better than you readers the limitations of my blog, and I’ve got high hopes for finding the time to create a more dynamic, focused, content-driven blog. At the moment, however, I’m simply amused, (and, yes, sometimes annoyed), at the large amount of people still out there who choose to point out their opinions about blogs or similar written word.

Ye who doth protest:

First, I’ve heard the complaint one too many times that blogs are nothing but self-indulgent, whiney, ego-maniac forums for those who feel the need to share their personal lives with the entire internet. Yes, that’s right, we MUST have all been too popular in high school to let it go and now we feel compelled to be the coolest kids on the block. Though I’ve got a lot to learn about mass communications and journalism, those courses towards my degree do come in handy when taking these comments into perspective. Media is the gate-keeper of information to today’s society, and no matter what is written in newspapers, magazines, television and radio news script writing, and on and on- it is ALL some one’s opinion. Yes, facts too, of course; but opinions are everywhere, however subtle they come. The new generation has come into media thinking- what the hell, might as well come right out with it! Maybe us twenty-something writer’s need a grammer lesson or two, but we can write with passion and intention and we aren’t afraid to be vulnerable. I address the mommy genre in particular. It’s too bad that things happen to great column’s in print like they did to Mamalogue’s (who, by the way, has some great posts about woman/mom topic articles that I am so glad I stumbled on while mulling over this myself!) I guess I’m lucky to get away with mommy topics in Polk Voice because I “contribute” them! Even then, I have to drastically tone down my wit at times to accomodate the fragile nature of some older generations.

Oops, I keep stepping on toes:

Which leads me to the title of this post (at last!). The other day my friend and I were talking about Jennifer Aniston being like 37 or something and how we can’t believe how old she is. Ok, I’m sorry, but for a “young Hollywood actress” she ain’t so young anymore. Ok, she isn’t OLD either, but older. I’ve been bumping into this little balancing act of the words a lot lately. I take it that if you are even reading this blog then you are at least somewhat privy to the internet, media, pop culture, that kind of thang. GOOD FOR YOU! REALLY! I was talking to my mother-in-law about this a few days ago, as she is some one who I use as a great example of an “oldER” woman who stays up to date on technology and internet fades and such. I cannot tell you how many moms in the various circles I find myself in each week laugh at “me and my internet”, (I even heard it compared to a VCR- my GAWD! Get a small clue, pleeease!) The mother-in-law brought up a great point: She stays on top of all this to relate to her kids as well as her older grandkids (my children, since my husband is an only child!) in the future. She said, “When [Lil’ E] comes to visit and he’s been on the computer, I can go in there after he’s done and look up the cookies and know where the hell he’s been!” That a girl! (If you are looking at that and wondering what the heck cookies has to do with anything, you can rest assure you are one of the ones I’m talking about!) Like I said, if nothing else about my defense of blogs and such sticks, her point is a good one. Parent’s have no earthly clue what kids can get their hands on in the form of chats, MySpace, even downloads to their phones and iPods. They are too busy comparing the internet fad to the VCR!

Another perspective that has really opened my eyes in the last year is the career demand for those who are internet culture savvy. So many moms feel “forced” back to the office rather than going out there to find a telecommuting job. Why? When people are collaborating on projects from across the world in virtual conferences where they share desktops and drop files in real time while chatting live- who needs the hassle of the “daily grind” when this is being done by millions. The younger generation of workforce, even younger than me- yes, there is such a thing, are going to be doing things with software that the software designing Baby Boomers or even Gen Xer’s didn’t even create it for! It’s crazy that it would take an employer 45 minutes to show a clerical assistant to cut and paste when any average 13 year old could run circles around her. These things aren’t going to go away, they will continue to evolve, and though we can’t all be experts (and BOY am I FAR from one), I strongly believe that paying attention to the times is essential.

You almost got me to share my thoughts on memoir and other personal writing, which is coming in alongside this shrinking global community and internet culture quite nicely, I think. Maybe tomorrow.

I’ve abandoned the Saturday confessions for awhile but I will be cherry picking them back up again.

Today’s confessional:

I have officially seen every episode in season 1,2,3,4,5 and 7 of Gilmore Girls. Must.Get.Season.Six. … OR Must.See.Therapist.

It’s so bad that my son draws in a sharp breath of enthusiasm when he hears, “Where you lead, I will follow, anywhere, that you tell me to…” theme song. Evil season dvd’s.

Wonderful season dvd’s.

Ya’ll, I am so exausted! (and YES I say ya’ll- unlike some other Floridians I am ACTUALLY southern!)

After working about 11-12 hours total on Wednesday, I barely touched the first item on my “to-do” list for today before the hours zipped by without warning and before I knew it I was hauling off to downtown Lakeland’s annual Christmas parade. It was great weather and lots of fun, but I kept wishing I had just gotten work done instead. I am some what of a perfectionist, especially when it comes to hard work. If I feel like things are hanging over my head it is really hard to enjoy myself. This is yet another facet of “work at home” life: your work ALWAYS goes home with you! It squeezes into the five minutes Lil’ E is engrossed in “Dora the Explorer”, follows me into the bathroom while I oversee him taking a bath, and stays up late with me until wee hours of the morning while my dog snores at my feet. It is very rare to find “stopping points” or to take a breath in between projects, so there’s that constant tick in the back of my mind, always telling me to steal away another hour for some work.

There are many reasons why I put up with this, reasons which are not uncommon to any one who holds a job. First of all, I need the income. When I say that, I mean it. My money doesn’t support eating out or excessive car payments, it supports electricity! I also know that my work wanes in and out in volume. If I get no projects in January, I will be kicking myself for not taking all I could get in December to hold us over the lull. (This is why there’s no point bragging about all the hours/money I get this week, for they might be split three ways to spread into lagging weeks.) Secondly, I put up with the nagging feeling of always having more work to do because it is my job. There are a few things in life which deserve your attention. I miss lunch dates, I forget a conversation I had yesterday, I admit that. When it comes to commitments to family its a whole different matter, and to me, the same goes for work. If I say I want the work, and I tell my boss or a client I will get it done by a certain time, then gosh darn it, that’s my word on the line. I wish I were better at this in all areas of life, but some things gotta give in order to keep priorities straight. I feel badly when I have to put a friend off for hang out plans or re-schedule a million times, but then again if I hung out each week with every person who asked, I would literally be out of hours in which to do work. Lastly, I enjoy working to an extent. I would love to soley focus on personal writing, but of course THAT doesn’t pay bills, so who am I to complain that I get to keep one small foot in the door to the corporate world, to own a pair of closed toe shoes and wheel around a laptop from time to time while hoping for a small raise or promotion within the companies I do, basically, virtual or out-sourced administrative/clerical work for? All this while almost exclusively telecommuting from home, I mean, it is exactly what I desire: to be able to wake up and cuddle with my son, to be the one to prepare his meals and put him to sleep allllll day loooooong. I always felt like it was the most ridiculous thing in the world to have a child but not raise that child - ridiculous as in unnatural - to not have a parent or close family member be the sole providor for the child the family brought into the world. (Disclaimer: Of course, this is a personal conviction and one I DO NOT wish to impose on any one else!)

Long story shorter, to “squeeze” hours into my life in which I have honest to goodness “work” to do (aside from the full-time job of child rearing and home keeping) is a blessing and I have nothing to complain about. I simply wish there were more hours in the day, is that so much to ask for? Sheesh.

I know so many people feel like this. I hear every day people say how busy they are, and I can imagine! Between family, friends, holidays, work, church activities, physical exercise, meal planning, house cleaning, bill paying, pet responsibilities, travel plans, college classes - how are we even meant to have time for it all? I recall a time when, after just having the baby, my to-do list for the day was literally one or two points long: “Sweep and check the mail.” Seriously. The rest of my brain was taken up with memorizing when to nurse, when to diaper, when to bathe (MYSELF!), and how in hades to get myself and the baby dressed and ready to get out of the house on time for a doctor’s appointment!!!

It’s amazing how quickly we fill up our schedules again and complicate life with more DOING after brief pauses such as births, wedding, deaths, natural disasters or vacations.

Currently, my alarm clock is scheduled for 6 hours from now, so I can go meet up with some great ladies in my church and get “discipled by grace” (aka bible study, which I actually am “leading” tomorrow so I can’t skip this time!). I plan to stop at Starbucks on the way and suck down a triple tall cap for liquid energy. I have spent 15 minutes trying to work and re-work my agenda for the day to include all that needs to be done, but I finally gave up and will just have to trust that I will do my best and if things don’t get finished the sun will still come up on Saturday.

G’night! 

Some things I have “asked” for this year, some more realistic than others!

• A 6.0 megapix dig camera. Pretty flexible about the specs, though.
• Parallel bible- NASB and The Message
• Clinique- foundation applicator brush
• Crocks:  Mary Jane style
• Walking/yoga footwear from Paiva. Gotta love that Michelle K!
• Certain earrings, from hubby
• Books, clothes, make up, shoes, bags, cooking accessories, other things I can’t think of cause I’m tired!

Share yours with me so I can make a post of my Reader’s Wish List(s)!

Check out my recently published content on AC: Best 2006 Holiday Gifts for the Non-Conformist

And the new Polk Voice article about celebrating the holidays in Lakeland: The Holidays are Here and Lakeland is the Place to Be

Stay tuned for tonight’s LOST episode recap!

 I have been intrigued by the saga that is Madonna for sometime. When I see her in an interview, I stop and listen. She always has this very strong presence that shows she has been through a lot. Then again, how does she present herself as this classy devoted mother in her photo spread in Vogue and then as a sultry, scandalously clad pop artist in a music videos? I wonder what her shrink knows about her, whether she is bi-polar or something.  Perhaps one of the reasons I watched her from afar growing up was that her voice always reminded me of my (birth) mothers. It was deep and firm, with a surreal mother earthy tone to it. 

 (Picture created in photoshop with very little sleep!)

 As if the name didn’t serve as a prelude to the matriarchal pride that Madonna has built for herself since the birth of her two children, she has recently been all over the press for adopting a boy from an adoption agency in Malawi. At first, I thought this was pretty repulsive. But what do I know? I had my suspicions that this was an attempt at a pr move which has since proved pretty ineffective, possibly even damaging, to her public figure. She plans to go on Opera Wednesday for further discussion.

Watching Nancy Grace (during commercials in The O’Reilly Factor) tonight, I got to see this whole thing hashed out a bit. As it turns out, Madonna has been working with adoption organizations and causes in Malawi for a few years now, before the process of adopting herself. She likley picked this country as it is close to her heart already. She seems to have truly wanted to provide this little boy a good home. Having met with the birth father and gone through the “process”, it seems to me that she adopted with good intentions. The father, who placed his son as a baby in the adoption agency a year ago after the death of the boys sisters and mother, is now claiming that he did not give permission to this adoption, which has the media boistering enthusiastic headlines that victimize him and villianize Madonna. However, let’s be clear that he has gone from saying that he absolutely knows what is going on and wants to give his baby to Madonna, that he does not know who she is but that he knows she will be a good mother, etc, to claiming the exact opposite today. One woman on her program, founder of an organization to adopt African children, has worked with this process from Africa for over 20 years. She urges us to understand the culture of Malawi, in which a father who can not provide for a baby if the mother has died will very very often place that child in care and come back for them when they are about 4 years old. They never gave permission for adoptions and if this happens, they are often illiterate and confused by the process. Once they realize they will never see their child again, they begin to ask more questions. She believes this is what has happened. Others say the father is going to ask for money. I sort of doubt that. I think that is there has been a confusion, the adoption officials are to blame for it. I think both Madonna and the birth father might have had a different version of what was going on, and are know having to deal with what to do now.

Anyway, once we have a few more facts like these, it is much less a matter of evil Madonna doing a few African dances while slithering her way into the Malawi adoption process for a pr move that might pan out similar to the humanitarian efforts of Angelina Jolie.

Why am I even devoting an entire blog to this?

I don’t know. Like I said, I sort of follow some of the major Madonna moves for some reason. It’s a similar reason why White Oleander was such a compelling book for me. These eccentric, powerful matriachal figures are a spectacle to me. Though I wish I didn’t sometimes, like watching the scene of an accident. I can’t help but look on, but really I don’t want to cause it might throw me in a funk for awhile.

 Anyway, adoption is also an interesting process to me, and so is PR and the spin they place on stories to make the nation have one big collective grumble about the otherwise private life of a celebrity.

What’s your thoughts? Does anything I found out from Nancy Grace make you think a little differently about the Madonna adoption fiasco? (If we start up a discussion at the message boards, I can consider this “getting out” for the day! HA!)

Well, I’ll try to catch Opera and see what else comes of all this.

P.S. Made the round trip two hours south today to retrieve my car that I had the accident in. Very tired. Must sleep now.